A Count of Blessings

By ELKE GOVERTSEN

One.Two.

I count. It’s what I do.

I count how many days until Christmas with my boys, the excitement building. I count how many points I want to make in a speech. I know exactly the number of items on my list.

Counting breaks big things into smaller ones, more bite-sized and palatable. It makes sense.

Yesterday there was a lot of counting. Three guns. One school. 26 people. 20 children.

And today, we begin a long, long count to a number none of us will reach—the place where this might make some sense.

When my sons asked what can we do, All I had was this: We can love people who are hurting or lonely.

And that is too large a number today as well.

Today, all I can count to is two. My blessings. And I will count them over and over.

One. Two.

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Publsher’s Note:  Elke Govertsen also wrote this piece for her own website, Mamalode.com. We’re republishing it with her permission:

 

I Know Nothing. One Mom’s Love for Newtown, Connecticut

I know nothing of the fear of waiting. Nothing of the relief or devastation.

I know nothing of the pain that caused this, and nothing of the pain it caused.
I know nothing of the noise. Or of worse, the silence.
All I know is this: I grieve because safe isn’t. Innocent isn’t. Not today.
I sat with my sons and told them what I could, of something I don’t understand.
I listen to them snore now, still unwilling to get very far from them.
I know nothing of what to say to the moms who are breaking open tonight. Except this, we will hold you. We are in this together. I hold you now on this terrible day and all the tomorrows to come.
Grace for the rage.
Faith for the fear.
Love for the impossible.
I can take nothing away. So I will stand beside you. And love.

 

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Read more from one of Missoula’s favorite Mamas About Town, Elke Govertsen. And check out Missoula Children and Nature NetworkActive Moms Missoula, and the Make it Missoula Business section.

Share your mama (and papa!) stories below. We promise… Elke will respond!

Visit Elke's Mama About Town archive. Visit the Mama About Town archive.

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Mamalode's Elke Govertsen and her boysElke Govertsen is the publisher of Mamalode which is a magazine and website for area moms. When not juggling her family, business, and the laundry (disclosure – there is no laundry being done whatsoever), Elke tries to eek out time to write, do yoga, and read like afiend.