Hellgate Rollergirls Derby Profile: Knuckle Slamb!tch

By K.P. NICHOLS

Every couple weeks, we run a profile of one of the members of the Hellgate Rollergirls. This week, it’s Brooke Jones, aka, Knuckle Slambitch.

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Q. What’s your derby name, real name, and derby number?

A. Knuckle Slambitch, Brooke Jones, #56

 

Q. You are affiliated with the Hellgate Rollergirls league, on what level? (fresh meat? which team? all-stars? coach? ref/nso? volunteer? currently on LOA for injury or other reason?)

A. Yes, I am on the Brawlin’ Mollies Home Team as a co-captain and the All-Stars Travel Team. I am also a co-head and coach for the Hellgate Hellions, our Junior League.

 

Q. How long have you been playing derby with HGRG?

A. I started in January of 2011.

 

Q. What made you want to play roller derby?

A. I heard from a friend that there was a league here and remembered how much fun I had roller-skating as a kid. Being able to skate and knock girls off of their skates sounded really fun to me.

 

Q. Do you have an alter ego? If so, what’s she (or he) like?

A. I guess you could call Knuckle Slambitch my alter ego, or maybe more like my game face. Aside from the bright red eye shadow and thick black liner…she is, and in some cases wants to be more, super aggressive, never gives up, throws down, and is always in it for the team.

 

Knuckle Slambitch #56 warming up during the River City Roots Fest outdoor community bout.

Knuckle Slambitch #56 warming up during the River City Roots Fest outdoor community bout. Photo courtesy of AthenaPhotography.

Q. What do you do outside of derby… Your occupation? School? Hobbies? Interests? Talents?

A. Outside of derby I am a stay-at-home mother of three super cool little boys all under the age of 4. I am in the process of starting up a legwarmer business right now. I can cook a mean Chicken and Dumplin’ Soup! Getting pretty good at birthday cakes too!

 

Q. Your family life outside of derby… Spouse? Significant other? Kids? Dogs? Other pets?

A. I live with my 3 boys (Dayden-4, Kian-3, and Jayce-2), their Hunky Firefighter Father (Joe), and our dog (Honey).

 

Q. Do you have an athletic/sporting background (besides derby)? If so, what? when (h.s., college)?

A. I played Tee ball in Kindergarten. I hit the ball and then ran the wrong way around the bases… I wasn’t too good at it I guess, kinda retired after that. I was on a basketball team for a little while in 8th grade. I found out why being 4’9” was a bit of a disadvantage in the sport. I was more into what people refer to as “extreme sports.” I used to rock climb and snowboard a lot after high school. Actually that is about all I did for 8-9 years.

 

Q. Do you have a derby idol? If so, who is it? Who does she play for?

A. I have a new derby idol named On’Da Sligh #66. She plays for the Oly Rollers. I watched her at the Western Regionals in Oakland, CA. She is an amazing jammer!

 

Q. Do you have a pre-bout ritual? Or pre-bout meal? Or pre-bout music to pumped you up?

A. Oh boy… you ready for this? Approximately 2-2.5 hours before my bouts I eat a bowl of whole grain noodles, plain with a touch of olive oil. The uniform goes on rather quickly. Now it is time to apply my face, Haha! Basically applying loads of red eye shadow, gobs of blackest black liquid eyeliner, and layer upon layer of mascara. Polish this off with some gold glitter dust, a little green splotch below my eye, and a trace of red on my lips and Knuckle Slambitch is ready to go. Throw in some Girl Fixer by the Distillers for the ride down to the bout and I am ready to knock some heads!

 

Q. Is there a piece of clothing, jewelry, memento, make-up style you always bout with? Why?

A. From my first bout, I’ve been doing my make-up the same way. I don’t know why, it just kind of stuck, or maybe it is because I’m a little superstitious and I think that if I drastically change something that I do, it is bad luck. Sometimes I add a more color but the red eyes will always be a part of Knuckle Slambitch.

 

Q. Which celebrity/local figure/politician would you like to be friends with (dead or alive)?

A. I think Chelsea Handler would be an awesome friend, I can only imagine that you would never know what was going to happen while hanging out with her but you would always know that it would be flippin’ hilarious. Spontaneous and hilarious, two of the best combinations out there.

60 Grit, Knuckle Slambitch, Ellie Mental (from left to right) All-Star team pre-bout prep.

60 Grit, Knuckle Slambitch, Ellie Mental (from left to right) All-Star team pre-bout prep. Photo courtesy of AthenaPhotography.

Q. What is something that most people don’t know, or would never guess about you?

A. I love to be carded these days! Hey bartenders if you see me out at the bar, which is pretty much never…unless I am at an after party, pppllleeeaaassseeeeee card me! It really is a compliment these days! HAHA!

 

Q. What movie can you watch over and over and never get sick of?

A. Despicable Me

 

Q. I can’t leave the house without…?

A. My keys! Did you know it is $60 to have a locksmith come and unlock your door?? The second time it happened we decided to drill the doorknob out because doorknobs are cheaper than locksmiths!

 

Q. List 3 things that you plan to accomplish in 2013? (derby related or not) Or any current derby goals you like to share?

  1. Becoming the best jammer that I can possibly be for myself and my team, by incorporating cross training to do so.
  2. Getting my business up and running successfully.
  3. Raising my boys to the best of my ability.

 

Q. What keeps you coming back to derby, day after day and year after year?

A. The sportsmanship, camaraderie, women, and sense of being that I get with derby. The Hellgate Rollergirls are the most real women around. We all share a love for a sport that is only successful if everyone puts their ALL into it.

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Photos courtesy of Athena Photography.

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KP enjoying Missoula's great outdoors

K.P. Nichols, a.k.a. Kill Pill, has been a member of the Hellgate Rollergirls since November 2010. She co-heads Bout Production with Tushie Galore, which means they are busy working on the upcoming bout at the Adams Center on Friday, Nov. 9th. Bout starts at 7 p.m. with $12 GA tickets, $6 for UM students with a griz card, and kids 10 and under free.

HGRG is always in need of volunteers for its bouts, which means you’d get into the bout for free. If you’re interested, email us at hgrgbouts@gmail.com.