By ELKE GOVERTSEN
My grandpa died this week and Missoula lost some of its twinkle. Grandpa Harp was a man filled with love and someone who believed in simply being together. I am very proud to have inherited this trait.
Funnily enough, I am not a blood relative. Actually, when spelled out on paper, I am hardly related. Technically Grandpa Harp is my step-father’s sister-in-law’s father. But technicality is totally overrated and being related is totally relative.
Granpa Harp was the one I called when I was so sick that I could hardly see straight and through my fog of fevers, his was the only phone number I could muster. And sure enough, he came to get me in his little red truck and would hear nothing of my attempts to have him drop me off at home. He took me to his house where he and Granda Dori loved on me and watched as I sunk further and further away.
I wound up back in the hospital that night and came inches from dying. His love and Grandma Dori’s cooking were the last clear memories I had for a long, long time. And those memories where enough to motivate through many moments when I wanted nothing more than to give up on the new life I was barely surviving.
Why would a post about my Grandpa belong on a website touting the wonders of living in Missoula, MT? Well, it is because this man was an embodiment of Missoula. Kind. Happy. Absolutely zero distinction between friends and family. Simple in the sense that joy does not come from making things complicated. This is the definition of Missoula, and of Harp.
There was no lunch other than the Missoula Club for a burger and a beer, no scorching August day that wasn’t quenched by a dip in his backyard pool. Harper’s swimming pool is nothing fancy—it is tiny, well tended and filled everyday with generations of Missoulians. The door is always open and the fridge is always stocked.
So if you read this website to try to understand why Missoula is so special, think of this: there are little houses, on quiet streets. Inside those little houses there are big, beautiful, loving families and you can be a part of that family simply by showing up. So do. Show up. Jump in. Love them right back. Give the way they do. Aim for a long, happy Missoula life like Harp’s where at the end of the day everyone has a story of how you loved them just right. It’s all relative.
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Bio: Elke Govertsen is the publisher of Mamalode which is a magazine and website for area moms. When not juggling her family, business, and the laundry (disclosure – there is no laundry being done whatsoever) Elke tries to eek out time to write, do yoga, and read like a fiend.
I’m didn’t know your “granpa” Elke–but he must have been a VERY special individual! I look at some of the most exceptional people I know…and wonder who and what influenced them and helped make them who they are? And because of who you are , I can only imagine what a spectacular man he was! Thanks for sharing this heartfelt story. Prayers are going up/out for you and all of your extended family.
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Elke – you certainly did inherit those traits… because you give them and live them in Missoula every day. I am sorry for your loss, and I thank you for being my family/friend… with little distinction between the two. Thanks for sharing this post with all of us.
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Gosh, I wish I would have had that infortamion earlier!
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Oh Elke,
What a wonderful tribute to your “grandpa” Harp. You paint such a beautiful picture of his heart and spirit. I absolutely love the line “joy doesn’t come from making things complicated.” So very true.
With heartfelt thoughts and prayers to you and all the Missoula “family” that knew and were touched by his life…..
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Elke,
You are so right. Missoula is special because Missoula people are special – warm, engaging, generous, honest, trusting, and with buckets of curiosity and spunk. I have found myself over and over telling people who are not from around here that we live in a place of trust – that is, we automatically assume that the person before us is trustworthy. What a community gift! In a world in which the norm is increasingly to automatically distrust one another, we cling to that bond of trust. Thank you Missoula.
I did not know your Grandpa Harp – and what a beautiful smile he had! – but I have similar beautiful souls in my circle of Missoula friends.
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Fantastic tribute Elke!
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Elke,
Thank you for sharing your Grandp Harp memories with us. People live on with our memories.
Missoula is so special because of its special people.
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Beautiful.
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[...] Check out more blogs from the Mama About Town, Elke Govertsen: Anywhere but Missoula, MT, or It’s all Relative, or Having it All. And Check out Missoula Children and Nature Network and Active Moms [...]
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